Occasionally I would run into my friend Michael who was the program manager for 3AW-radio personality Derryn Hinch. If you asked Michael how work was going he would say, “what time is it?” which meant did he still have a job.
Sometimes I think of that when it comes to my husband’s life in the tech industry. But even in these uncertain times I am convinced that the world needs people like him and there will always be a tech industry from now on and though they call it the new economy in a few years it must be seen differently. It will be part of the old economy no different from a brewery, automobile maker or the Golden Arches.
How new are those industries, not that much newer but still part of the old economy. So give it a few years and Computers will be part of the old economy. What’s different is that they are more and more in our homes than ever before and at a faster rate than a happy meal was. I think therefore that makes the new economy more frightening for a lot of people.
With the type of work my husband does he tells me he will always be travelling. So now nearly five years into being married I am used to asking “will you be here next week?” Sometimes when I’m frustrated with the fact he’s around I ask little questions like “are you travelling soon?” One of my good friends married to a similar travelling husband would say nicely “haven’t you got some country to visit next week”.
Deb and I both love our husband and both feel we had married the right person, we are both in love with our men. BUT just having a little break every month is also good for the marriage. In fact sometimes I wonder if that’s why our marriages are so good. The travelling gave us, our space, our freedom and independence. Now I don’t think this is for everyone but given both Deb and I married later in life we were used to doing our own thing.
My desk is messier when he’s not around, my activities don’t seem to be scrutinized as much and most importantly I can hang out at the computer longer while he’s away. We share the office area so with him around home (especially as now he is trying a work from home program for the company) I cannot come into the office if he’s working there. The big sighs and the earplugs in his ear are enough to warn me off. Now he tells me the earplugs are only there because I tend to bash the keyboards. My excuse is I type fast.
I do like it when he travels I can make as much noise and mess as I like, I only have myself to answer to. It’s a bit like having no parent around!
It does get down when they are away and a whole bunch of couples are doing something so you feel you should not intrude. But then again sometimes it’s hard when a whole bunch of women do something and you feel you should stay home because DH (darling husband) has been on the road for 3 weeks. You feel you should spend time with him. Why don’t they choose a week to see a movie when he’s out of town!
This travelling of a spouse makes for an interesting marriage, it can be stressful but it can also be fun. You learn to make major decisions like what school your child should attend or where you are going to live without your partners input. You learn all about fixing trains, transformer toys and that your children use your husband’s absence to get things they want. You learn to call on others when the computer shows signs of stress. You learn to store up those unanswered questions till when he comes home and pick the right time to bring it up. You learn not to pounce on a tired hungry jet lagged husband with a problem till at least 24 hours. You learn that when it comes to big questions you and your husband are often the only ones that care and the company really doesn’t.
So if you choose this life, think carefully because a travelling spouse is not around to help you change a nappy (diaper), convince a child lettuce is good for them or help you do the taxes!
