Everyone who moves to a new country needs a Mary. When I moved from Australia to Santa Clara my neighbour said to me you must meet my friend Mary. I had to meet Mary was because her daughter had just moved to Sydney with her Australian husband and their young daughter.
Mary was missing her first grandchild and her daughter. Within a few weeks of them leaving I filled that gap. Here came the person with a connection, Australia and a child the same age. So Mary and I got to know each other.
But why I say everyone who moves needs a Mary is because Mary made my transition so much easier. Mary explained things. She explained coupons, told me how the school system worked, what shops sold what. She explained different terminology to me.
Not only did she help guide me in those early days she made us feel welcome in a new country. Mary and her husband included us in all family gatherings and extended their home to us for such things as baby-sitting, Thanksgiving and Christmas.
I couldn’t begin to imagine life without Mary in the start. We didn’t have two cars and that’s just about your worst nightmare in California. No car, how do you get around? Well Mary would take me to Lucky’s or run me up to the Post Office. Not only did she help me get around she would introduce me to everyone she knew. I was Mary’s newest daughter she would say. Her Australian daughter was how she would put it.
Everyone needs a Mary to help you settle in. Imagine if we all took on a little what Mary did for me. She eased me into a new life; she helped me make friends and taught me how to get about. She was my address book, phone book, lifeline and friend. She was my American mother, someone I could talk to because that first year I was homesick and she would listen.
Even when we left Santa Clara and came to Hong Kong, Mary kept up that lifeline. She would bank my US cheques for me; she would send me bras I couldn’t by here. She just kept extending that hand of friendship and motherhood. She was just wonderful.
This week I flew home to attend Mary’s memorial mass. Mary died on November 9th at 10.15pm and so did a little of me.
I love you Mary and may this letter inspire others to be like you to those who are new to a town, city or country.
