Zebra Crossing

People are always amazed I drive in Hong Kong – they think the traffic is bad or chaotic and that I take a chance in the mayhem.  I think I take a greater chance actually crossing the road here.  Drivers seem to take no care or consider the fact people actually need to cross the road and there are few zebra crossing. Today I was nearly taken out by a speeding Grey Porsche 911.  Now I always dream of owning one but going to heaven (presuming that’s my destination) by one is not what I had in mind. It seems that the point system is alive and well in Hong Kong.  I stopped taking the children in strollers a long time ago because it takes longer to cross the road and you are a ‘bigger’ target and ‘bigger’ points.  So we usually bundle up the children in our arms when we cross the road but even then there is no respect for us.  Buses, taxis, blue trucks and private vehicles don’t seem to slow down here at intersections and NEVER stop at the few zebra crossings that exist. I think pedestrians should take classes on how to cross a road in Hong Kong.  Schools could be set up by the police, and notes given plus advice on how best to cross a road and at what time.  There is no doubt peak hour traffic does not consider the fact that children go to school around the same time and maids are crossing the road with their charges.  The maids don’t have driving skills so are unaware of the speed a car is doing (when you yourself drive you have a better understanding of the maneuvering of a car).   I am not sure why they having crossings here for pedestrians given cars don’t stop for them.  I have even been honked by traffic behind me because I stopped to let a pedestrian cross at a zebra crossing.  Well where I came from that was the whole idea and the law. Speed checks are often done around the Happy Valley racecourse – obviously trying to get that car that thinks they are in direct competition to a horse!   But they don’t seem to do speed checks at the Sing Woo, Blue Pool Road Y intersection where the cars come hurtling down into the valley, in the vicinity of no less than five schools. I think awards should be given to pedestrians for being able to navigate the streets of Hong Kong in the face of manic drivers. There is no doubt on the island if you see a space you put your foot down – give your car a reeve but look out for the pedestrian because they might be there TOO. Cars rule in Hong Kong, they say more about you than anything else.  They are washed everyday by that same little amah crossing the road with her charge, they are immediately repaired if scratched or dented, they are an indication of your status in society. So if travelling in Hong Kong – watch the road and beware Zebra crossings are not what you think they are for.  I am still trying to work out why we have them – perhaps to brighten up the road. 

Tai Tai very mad

When my husband got home last night he was greeted by a boot licking doorman who announced: ‘Tai Tai very mad’. Translated it means wife very mad. I am writing this letter from Hong Kong early in the morning before I, the Tai Tai, get mad again. With my youngest crying downstairs it is peaceful at the moment, compared with the noise of jackhammers and drills that I have been experiencing the last week. Our landlord (a Hong Kong family) has seen it fit to do some ‘renovations’ to three empty flats.  They worked out it would be more practical to do the work all at the same time rather than one at a time. We were give one days notice of their intentions.  Had we had warning I would have gone away.  With it being summer at the moment there is no where to go with two little boys all day. There are 15 flats in the block and eventually as they come vacant we will go through this again. We can’t move out because we won’t find a landlord that will let us have lease less than 2 years.  We could get a service apartment and five people in the average size of a serviced apartment (700 sq. ft) NO THANK  YOU.  So we are stuck in what seems a war zone. My nerves are frayed, my older child has yelled at the workers to stop making a mess and noise, my youngest by early evening is living up to the expression ’sour hour’ because he is getting no afternoon rest.  My helper complains as do I that she can’t think or make a simple decision and has repeated some of her tasks before realizing she had already done that.  I have had to put aside a course I was undertaking because I can’t concentrate on the words in front of me and by evening end I am so tired from the noise I just want to go to bed and enjoy the peace. Our tenancy agreement stipulates we are entitled to quiet enjoyment.  If three jackhammers and men breaking away tile in the next door apartment and more men repeating the same work in two other apartments in the same block is quiet enjoyment I have to say there is something wrong with this picture. I told the landlord’s representative I am bottom of the totem pole here.  I am white and female and don’t pay the rent so it is no use me complaining. Currently as the drilling has started the house vibrates and the hum of the drill is helping me loose my thoughts.  Apparently lawyers tell us they have rights to renovate because there is flooding to one apartment regularly so repairs can be done under the title of ‘major works’.   The Landlord is one of the most powerful land owners in Hong Kong – I on the other hand are a mere Tai Tai complaining of rubble in my foyer, dust in my hall way, vibration and noise – hey do they care!! TIP:  If you plan to rent in Hong Kong check that no major works or ‘renovations’ are scheduled near your apartment. 

Dogs Life

Close to where we live (very close) are four beautiful frizzy dogs and their story goes as follows (all names and breeds have been changed to protect the innocent and me).   These four, virginal white, not too small dogs, live in an apartment much the same size as ours around 2,300 square feet.  Our four legged fiends have their own bedroom I am told, a washing machine for all their towels that are used for their ‘disposal’ and two maids to attend to their needs.  What more could a doggy want? Why they always come up in conversation is because I fear for my own children when we see these dogs. The dogs seem rather frustrated.  I guess I shouldn’t worry because their doggy paws never touch the ground and they never sniff grass so how would they get a chance to get near my boys.  Yes you read right. These dear dogs are carried everywhere.  They go for scenic drives in their very expensive German car daily, they are preened a cleaned more than my two little rascals, and they certainly eat well judging by their size.  They sound rather vivacious at times but I am sure their bark is louder than their bite or is that the other way round.  You ask how is this? My simple answer is: that is Hong Kong!  Weird but wonderful, exotic and extreme, bizarre and bewildering, I am not here to question the cultural difference, just to report.  I think it is just the cultural behavior of another person in this world.  More to the point a practice not observed by anyone else, I know.  As I write this I too even find it hard to believe that these dogs, assisted by helpers, are carried from their doorstep to a driver and car taken on a daily outing.   I have discussed this option as an alternative to keeping my boys clean. I just don’t think a drive in lieu of a play at the playground is going to fly here.  Remember I’m just reporting not judging. Believe me you see all shapes and sizes of dogs going in the elevator for their walk.  Unlike these white frizzy dogs most do go for walks. sigh….

Everyone needs a Mary

Everyone who moves to a new country needs a Mary.  When I moved from Australia to Santa Clara my neighbour said to me you must meet my friend Mary.   I had to meet Mary was because her daughter had just moved to Sydney with her Australian husband and their young daughter.

Mary was missing her first grandchild and her daughter.  Within a few weeks of them leaving I filled that gap.  Here came the person with a connection, Australia and a child the same age.  So Mary and I got to know each other.

But why I say everyone who moves needs a Mary is because Mary made my transition so much easier.  Mary explained things.  She explained coupons, told me how the school system worked, what shops sold what.  She explained different terminology to me.

Not only did she help guide me in those early days she made us feel welcome in a new country.  Mary and her husband included us in all family gatherings and extended their home to us for such things as baby-sitting, Thanksgiving and Christmas.

I couldn’t begin to imagine life without Mary in the start.  We didn’t have two cars and that’s just about your worst nightmare in California.  No car, how do you get around?  Well Mary would take me to Lucky’s or run me up to the Post Office.   Not only did she help me get around she would introduce me to everyone she knew.  I was Mary’s newest daughter she would say.  Her Australian daughter was how she would put it. 

Everyone needs a Mary to help you settle in.  Imagine if we all took on a little what Mary did for me.  She eased me into a new life; she helped me make friends and taught me how to get about.  She was my address book, phone book, lifeline and friend.  She was my American mother, someone I could talk to because that first year I was homesick and she would listen.

Even when we left Santa Clara and came to Hong Kong, Mary kept up that lifeline.  She would bank my US cheques for me; she would send me bras I couldn’t by here.  She just kept extending that hand of friendship and motherhood.  She was just wonderful.

This week I flew home to attend Mary’s memorial mass.  Mary died on November 9^th at 10.15pm and so did a little of me.

I love you Mary and may this letter inspire others to be like you to those who are new to a town, city or country.

Bargained Transient

When I first came to Hong Kong I cried a fair bit because I missed home, I missed my friends and the thought of making new ones again seemed all too daunting.  I think I hadn’t realized what I had bargained for in agreeing to this assignment.  I remember my first Hong Kong neighbor saying don’t worry you will settle in it takes about two years.  I also remember thinking I doubt I’ll be here in two years.

Three years later and it is only now have I that feeling I have made friends and this is with people who are new to Hong Kong.  This is because the spouses all have dinned together and knew their names.  It sure helps if you are not driving somewhere new with husband saying the following:

“His name is blah blah he works for X Company and her name is Thingyand you have met her at so and so’s place last month but you don’t know him”.

Or as one of my friends said when she told her husband whom she had invited to dinner – “don’t worry you don’t have to remember their names they are leaving soon.”

Hong Kong is a bit like that – people come and go but more than that you might live here three years and only socialize with one couple who has lived here the same amount of time once in your brief sojourn here.

Hong Kong is transient and as against home where you probably socialize with the same crowd regularly this is not the case here. 

Reflections of Hong Kong

Now that we are back in the US and I am posting these old articles I wrote about Hong Kong it really is great to reflect on our life there.  Actually it’s probably more useful to look at how our life there has influenced our life in the US.

In Hong Kong we had a maid.  Merla the Maid did everything it seems.  At times I would request that she not do some things.  I remember asking that the children bring there own plates to the kitchen.  I remember that she leave tasks for me to do.  I knew eventually I would return to the US and it would be left to me to do that again.  I certainly got into her cooking though – she was a great cook and as much as I enjoy cooking I gave that up.  It’s taken me a while to return to desire to create a meal.

I think the most enjoyable part of Hong Kong was that I was living in a city that buzzed constantly.  There was always something going on.  No part seemed to sleep.  There was always a sense of urgency in the air.  When I first came back to Silicon Valley it seemed so much quieter  here.  Now I find Silicon Valley too rushed and too fast and am ready to find a slower pace.  After nearly 5 years in Hong Kong I have the feeling I have done my big city living and will not take that on again.

We ate a lot of Chinese food.  I should say a lot of good Chinese food.  If I see Lemon Chicken on a menu here in the US I know I’m not in a true Chinese restaurant.  I’m in a restaurant catering to Gweilos.  In China I’ve tried, turtle, snake, wild rabbit and probably other animals.  I’ve been presented with peacocks tongues and duck webs – that’s the web of a ducks feet.  I’ll be honest even I couldn’t try that.  And of course Sea Urchin – which I hear is a delicacy reserved for the guest and most Chinese don’t like it.  Weird.  So yes Lemon Chicken is not my idea of a true Chinese meal.  I feel my children will eat Chinese before western food. 

Do I miss Hong Kong?  No not really, I’m here now in the heart of Silicon Valley and enjoying this now.  Did I like Hong Kong?  I did.  It did however depend what day it was.  There were good days and there were bad days.  And then there were typical Hong Kong days.  What is that you may ask?  A typical Hong Kong day is when the maid now forgets how to speak English, the guard at the front desk just cannot help you because you are the wife but the husband can get it down, the day the taxi driver takes you everywhere but where you really want to go.  Do I get them here in the US – sometimes but nothing compared to Hong Kong.

 Ahh Hong Kong – you have so much to offer it’s the attitude that sometimes gets you in trouble.  Relax, enjoy and learn to have FUN.

Weapon of Choice

I don’t know if it’s just me but I find some of the news in Hong Kong is quite distasteful and horrendous.  Imagine reading about the domestic helper that was reprimanded by her boss with a hot iron because she burnt her employer’s shirt.  Then there was the employer who scalded her maid with boiling water.  Wow, I can think of other ways of dealing with an unhappy situation.  Communication might be good starting point. 

Guaranteed in Hong Kong once a week there is report of a disgruntled wife or husband going for a spouse with a kitchen knife chop!  What’s worse they are often successful. Guns are banned in the Hong Kong so when guns are banned I guess chops are handy alternative.  I am wondering though if the government has thought about the prospect of registering chop owners.  This might cut down (excuse the pun) number of incidents where a chop is the preferred weapon of choice.  Perhaps the Government could ensure only this type of cooking utensil is sold only to solid upstanding citizens.  Any indication of manic behavior or known second wife syndrome prevents them from owning a chop.   This all sounds like a Get Smart farce i.e. his hands have been registered as a lethal weapon but I cannot tell you how many grizzly chop incidents I read about in the paper.  There is no holding back in the SCMP articles, they give you insight into how many chops it took to kill the person, the color of the blood and more.  I think they should run ads next to the article where to buy your chop, best prices etc. Oh and for those in Australia who think they are safe being Gun Free you mark my words, the Chinese Chop has yet to be discovered and I predict a government ban on this weapon. 

Love Expat

“Love Expat” left their home for love and live wherever, under whatever circumstances.  If it means they live in a tent and are with their love they will do it.  There are many of those around; they will give up creature comforts to be with the one they love. Sometimes they get to have better creature comforts but more than not, Not.  No questions asked, or any answers given.  Bottom line it’s all about Love!  or should I say Lust?

This brings us to the end of the expats as I see it, but I have loads of other great Hong Kong stories and I plan to post them so watch this space.

UnXpected Expat

A rare breed is the “Unexpected Expat“. They are the type that lands in a city for other reasons than staying.  They are the guy or gal that fall in love with the place vs falling in love with another human being.  Their intent is usually to travel and move on but sometimes the unexpected expat stays and stays and stays..  I love the story of the hippie that came to Hong Kong many years ago and now heads up a Bank!  I’m sure other Asian cities have these types of expats.  The one that sees the need for the Bar near the beach in a isolated location.  Yeh, unexpected expats are great people they have some of the best stories becaues they have gone through a lot to make it all happen.   They don’t have the companies to make the adjustments for them, find the housing, it’s all there.  HR is there to help but not these guys.

Xtra Expat

“Xtra Expat” there tends to be less of these around.

They cost a lot for a company because they bring with them the wife and the three kids on the journey. Usually they themselves are the off springs of expats and breed more expats.  More than not these guys are actually very beneficial to companies as their expertise is usually huge – they know all about travel, culture, languages and are top in their field.  They are Third Culture Kids and so are their children.  They tend to marry like-minded spouses.  Some of these guys are actually “Expat Experts” or “ Xtraordinary Expats” they may even considering becoming a “Loco Expat” and at some stage they might have been a “Love Expat”.  I think in time they will be known as the “Xpensive Expat”.

To learn more about Third Culture Kids – there is a book and a study on the subject.  It’s a very interesting study as it shows that these kids have a feeling of not belong to one particular country but to the world as a whole.  I feel my children have the signs of being this type of person.  They have friends all over the world already, they have far more life experience than their class room counterparts and they associate and understand children who are new to an environment.  In fact they are usually the first to take a ‘newbie’ under their wings.